After officiating many ceremonies, celebrant, Zee Scott has seen first hand that joy isn’t something couples need to manufacture, it’s something that naturally appears when a ceremony feels honest, comfortable and true to them. For The Joy Issue, she shares her thoughtful insights on how couples can create space for that kind of genuine, grounded joy.

Photography by Fotogenica from Sneha & Mubiana’s Melbourne Botanic Gardens Wedding 

A joyful ceremony doesn’t have to mean anything flashy. Joy isn’t necessarily chasing big theatrics, perfectly timed laughs, or viral moments. Seeking joy is often about craving something much simpler and much harder to fake. Calm. Connected. Present.

Joy can be as simple as the ceremony actually reflecting who you are, not who you think you should be on the day.

In my opinion, joy in a ceremony isn’t something you manufacture. It’s something you make space for. And often, it comes from doing less, not more.

Photography by Rick Liston 

Start with comfort, always

Joy and discomfort don’t coexist very well.

If you’re worrying about whether you’re standing correctly, whether your shoes are killing your feet, or whether you’re doing something “wrong”, it’s almost impossible to stay emotionally present. That’s why comfort matters more than tradition.

If walking down the aisle separately feels strange, walk in together. If standing for the entire ceremony feels overwhelming, sit. If a tradition doesn’t resonate with you, it’s okay to let it go. There’s no prize for ticking boxes that don’t feel right.

The more at ease you are in your body and your choices, the more available you are to actually feel what’s happening.

Photography by Marcel Van Der Horst 

Let the words sound like you, not a script

One of the quickest ways to drain joy from a ceremony is to use language that doesn’t feel natural.

Working with a celebrant? This is where choosing someone you genuinely connect with really matters. They should take the time to get to know you, not just your timeline.

Your ceremony doesn’t need to sound poetic or dramatic to be meaningful. The words you hear need to sound honest. Think about how you actually speak to each other. How you show care. How you laugh together. That’s where the warmth lives. THIS is what your Celebrant should capture.

Genuine laughter and emotion in a ceremony usually comes from familiarity. When the language sounds like you, joy tends to show up without being forced.

Focus on connection, not performance

A joyful ceremony isn’t something you perform for your guests. It’s something you experience with them.

This is where small, thoughtful inclusions can really shift the energy. Involving children in a relaxed way, inviting a friend to read a few lines, or sharing a brief moment that acknowledges the people gathered around you can bring a lovely sense of togetherness.

The key is keeping it simple. No one needs to be put on the spot. When guests feel included rather than instructed, the atmosphere softens and the room feels warmer.

Photography by Lulu & Lime

Slow the pace

Wedding days are fast. Ceremonies don’t need to be.

Some of the most joyful moments happen in the pauses. A breath before the vows. A look after the rings. A shared laugh when something doesn’t quite go to plan. These moments can’t be rushed, and they shouldn’t be.

Giving your ceremony space allows you to actually register what’s happening. To notice the weight of the moment. To feel grounded in it rather than swept along by it.

Allow things to be imperfect

Perfection is not joyful. Presence is.

A mispronounced word, a nervous laugh, a gust of wind, or a forgotten line doesn’t ruin a ceremony. Often, those are the moments people remember most fondly. They’re human. They’re real.

When you release the pressure for everything to go exactly as planned, joy has room to arrive in its own way.

Photography by Wild Romantic Photography 

Let emotion show up however it needs to

Joy isn’t always smiling. Sometimes it’s tears. Sometimes its nerves. Sometimes it’s a quiet moment where everything feels still.

There’s no correct emotional response during a ceremony. The most joyful ceremonies are the ones where couples don’t try to manage or suppress how they feel. They let it come, whatever that looks like.

When you let go of the idea that everything has to go exactly to plan, joy has room to arrive naturally.

Photography by La Moment Photography

Remember why you’re there

At the heart of it all, your ceremony isn’t about impressing anyone. It’s about marking a moment in your lives with intention and care. It’s about choosing each other, surrounded by the people who matter most.

When you come back to that, everything else becomes background noise.

Joy doesn’t need to be added to a ceremony. It appears when you feel comfortable, supported, and truly present with each other.

Many thanks to Zee for her generous insights. Her reminder is a simple but important one for couples everywhere: when your ceremony reflects who you truly are and gives you space to be present with each other, joy doesn’t need to be added, because it’s already there.

About the author: Zee Scott is a Melbourne-based marriage celebrant and MC known for her vibrant, personable, and inclusive approach. She specialises in creating unique, heartfelt ceremonies that reflect the personalities and love stories of the couples she works with. With a focus on making weddings both fun and meaningful, Zee ensures that every ceremony is memorable, engaging, and tailored to the couple’s vision.